When you ran out of money… simpler times.
I’ve seen this video a few times and thought I’d share it here. This comedian makes some very interesting observations about our society. The changes in our world- just in the past 10 years are remarkable, but we’re never happy. We never have enough. There’s always more to be had, someone else who has more than us- something we want, something we convince ourselves that we NEED. Our Government is trying desperately to keep up the facade. We really are indeed a spoiled generation.
Want versus need and sacrifice in Financial Peace
My oldest daughter is at the age that we should be considering preschools for her. There are many reasons she could go, and a good reason she should not. No matter how cheap the price of the school, it is still income that could go toward paying down debt- and building an emergency fund. The question opens up an entire box of questions and possibilities for me.
In December I received my Masters degree and the 30k bill that goes behind the piece of paper. When I had children, I vowed to be a stay at home mom until they started kindergarten. My youngest just turn one, an awesome job opportunity just opened up locally (although I’ve no guarantee that I’ll get it) but I’m torn on if I should even apply. The salary can more than cover the cost of childcare, and I could pay off those student loans in no time if we follow Dave’s debt snowball and throw everything at it. Another rub- I want one more child. Since starting Financial Peace, I try to always think of want versus need. But these situations are such that you could rationalize any situation. It all comes down to staying at home. Yes, I realize that children go to daycare every day, and I have a wonderful friend whom I love as a sister that would be willing to shoulder that task for me. Having had lost one daugther, I don’t want to miss one moment with my children. The whineing and crying, endless piles of laundry, and a house is never clean is worth it when I’m there to hear their first words, teach them to walk, or just observe in silence as they figure something out.
Another thing that would keep me from going back into the workforce is that I would like to home school my children. The disclaimer is that my area is brimming over with homeschooling resources. I’m not opposed to public schooling per say, I’d just rather control the influences on my young daughters. I’d like to have more control that what public schooling affords. There are other alternatives in early education- such as Montessori schools, but then we’ve come full circle to my original problem- whether or not preschool is a want or a need in my particular circumstances.
I have a hunch as to what Dave would say about private schooling- because I’ve heard it on his show. A mom called in asking for advice and a lot of their income outwent to pay for school. Dave asked if the school was worth it and she answered yes. I don’t remember exactly what he said, but it was clear that it wouldn’t have been a neccessity for him. When we’re parents it’s often hard to decide between what is a need and what is a want. We live in a society with constant pressure to give our children the best of everything. If we don’t, then we aren’t good parents- at least to ourselves and whoever we think may be watching. The very definition of the term sacrifice is not even clearly defined. I met a woman once who was working 4 jobs to send her children to Montessori schools. She used the term sacrifice. Something was being sacrificed, but what wasn’t as clear. He also has an interesting clip on his blog called the Wussification of America where he admits to being “Old Skool” when asked about why his advice is always for the father to go out and get extra jobs while the wife stays at home with the children.
In order to answer my own questions, I’m going back to the basics of Financial Peace. J and I have been working on our debt snowball since August, and after we get our taxes, we’ll be debt free- until July when those pesky student loans start back again. We could have been done much sooner had we’d not been the slowest gazelles in the herd. There were plenty of stupid taxes to pay along the way. I won’t even mention the Dave care that we drove about 100 miles before the engine blew. My point is, Financial Peace doesn’t take forever. It’ll probably take 2 years to pay off my student loans, less if we live on beans and rice- even part time. Once those are paid, our emeregency fund will be fully funded in just a matter of months- before our oldest starts kindergarten. Then we’ll be able to seriously consider wether or not we want to homeschool or pay for Montessori school. Then we’ll be discussing paying off our mortgage instead of spending the money on education.
In Financial Peace, sacrifice is what you’re willing to put on hold for the short term- to gain in the long term. Stick to the plan- but use strategic long range planning if you’re stuck on deciding what is a want and what is a need.
Rasing a child into Financial Peace
I’m embarrassed to say that it wasn’t until I was almost 31 that I even considered that money is a responsibility. I didn’t receive instruction from parents, in schools, or from churches. No wonder our finanicial market is in shambles. The closest I ever came to advice was when my ex-husband and I were planning for our first apartment months before our marriage. We’d gone to the local electronic store and picked out several things that we thought were necessities. We got a nice new tv, a brank spanking new microwave, and who knows what else. Here we were- two twenty year olds with jobs paying minimum wage, still in college, but we had every right to this new stuff. We didn’t even have an apartment at this point. We were surprised when our application for credit was denied. We asked my soon to be father in law to cosign, and he said no. In my twenty year old entitlement I was disappointed and angry. Did he want us to live without neccessities such as a TV and microwave? Not surprisingly enough, our marriage was riddled with financial difficulties. Neither one of us had the common sense God gave a mule. We maxed out our student loans to pay for our apartment, credit cards to pay our utilities. We jumped for joy with every credit card offer that came in the mail, and went to Wal-Mart to celebrate with a new bike, a new set of dishes. We bought Beanie Babies, shopped out of catalogs. We bought our house a year later when he got a job. He’d not been at his new job even one day, yet we owned a house. Our income didn’t meet our outgo. It was a disaster.
I think about these things now because I’m determined that I will teach my children to be responsible with money. I imagine it will be mandatory for many parents with young childrern these days because we don’t want our children to endure the same heartache in their lives and relationships. I don’t want mine to have the anxiety and stress that money can bring when not treated responsibly. There’s a commercial on TV right now about how some people are no longer keeping up with the Jonses’, but are making the choice to live more responsibly. Dave has Financial Peace Junior, and I plan to use it, along with the teachings of the Bible to teach my children to be responsible with money. I want my children to have a servant’s heart, to think about the needs of others before their own. I want them to give freely and with a happy heart, while saving, and spending a portion of their money. A already loves money. She woke me yesterday morning and told me first thing that she wanted to go downstairs to get daddy’s money. When he comes in the door from work in the afternoon- she goes for his pocket to get his change. I want to teach my children to work, to save, to give, and to spend. Any instruction I give them will be more than most of my generation has received. I don’t want to pick on my parents, but if you look at society as a whole you’ll see it. It’s rude to ask someone their salary. Why? It just is you might say. The only person that benefits from this is the employer because there is no accountability. If no one talks about what they get paid- there’s no way to know if you’re being underpaid or overpaid. We’ve made money a taboo subject. We don’t talk about money- instead we drive cars that prove that we have money. There are labels on our clothes and shoes to prove that we can “afford” them. If we’re hush hush about what me make- then we can pull over the lie in the image that we portray of ourselves.
A turns three in May. I’m already unpopular at my children’s birthdady parties because I don’t waste $100 on goody bags, or themed parties. I’ll start using Dave’s Financial Peace Junior this summer. I feel that she’s nearly ready for it. Not quite, because she loves rocks as much as she loves “monies”. I have to admit that I’ve overindulged her up into this point. She has more toys that do nothing but clutter my house than I care to confess. It’s going to be hard for me. More hard for J I’m sure. He never learned NO, and his mom still buys him whatever he asks. In the mall last week for the first time did she want something, and then started crying because she didn’t get it. It was much like the 20 year old me in the electronics store. I wanted it, and I wanted it then. I had to have it, and I was upset that I couldn’t have it. We survived without those brand new things of course, and A will surive in the short term without having every whim met. What I’m more concerned about is the life long implication and teaching her to be responsible with money so that she is never outside of Financial Peace.
Put down your rock. It’s you that matters in Financial Peace.
Admittedly, I’ve been a media hermit the last few months. I was vaguely aware that a mother had given birth to eight children last week. Information has trickled down and people are shocked that this single woman living on disability, and already with six children can afford IVF- and apparently shows up for television interviews with perfectly manicured nails. Perhaps I have a more realistic view of the world and that’s why I don’t share the same amount of shock. People living in million dollar homes, driving fully loaded luxury cars, talking on iPhones, watching Plasma screen TVs are now being tossed out in the cold because they can’t pay their bills. We live in a society of excess, and I’m shocked that we point fingers at her, question her financial situation- when we’re no better off financially. Babies and families are involved in each of the situations. Looking at the situation from strictly a finacial one, (and I’ll admit there are many more layers to this onion), we’re standing at her stoneing- rock in hand.
As a nation- we have a skewed view of what one can afford. I’ve done it when I’ve taken on car loans. Our financial planning used to be something like this: take the house note and utilities subtract it from our monthly income, and everything left over was what we could “afford”. We weren’t holding tight to our dollars. We were buying with money we expected- and as the unemployment rate continues to soar- what we hope we’d have at the end of the month. We could afford it if the finance company said we could. There’s talk of a credit crisis in the US, and the need to fix it because our government has the same thought. We’re counthing chickens before their hatched- cooking the books and lying to ourselves and calling it a financial truth.
J and I are pretty close to dumping our debt- and it will be done when we get our tax return back. It’ll start all over when I have to start paying off my student loans(I found Dave in my last semester), but now that we’ve admitted to ourselves that we can’t afford something if we can’t pay for it in cash, suddenly we find a positive balance in our checking account. I’ll admit we’ve been a little lax in paying extra to what we do owe, and in saving. We’ve got to get back on the ball! We’re lightyears ahead of where we once were. I wouldn’t even be brave enough to boast that we’re ahead of where most Americans are in that we no longer lie to ourselves- but I’m fortunate to have found Dave and his Financial Peace program. I wish I could force people to quit borrowing. I wish I could force our country to let the “Can’t Fails”… Fail. It would absolutely hurt- and probably for a little while, but if a building doesn’t have a good foundation- you’re better off knocking it down and getting on with the project.
J and I are lucky that our proverbial hole isn’t getting any deeper, and we can almost get out. We’ve still got some matureing to do, and some growing to go before we see Financial Peace.






